What Is the Cost of Your Oil (Part 3)

In the last portion, I submitted to you that Mary offered several things to the Savior that day in her humble act of sacrifice. First was the offering of her pride. She endured the ridicule and rejection of her world once again to honor the man to whom she owed so much.

Next was the offering of her past. I believe, having experienced something so similar, that it was on this day that Mary finally reconciled her sins  and salvation at the feet of the one who offered her that very forgiveness. I believe on this day she finally forgave herself.

I believe that next Mary brought to Jesus her promise. Every little girl dreams of the day that she walks down the aisle on her father's arm to the bridegroom waiting there for her. At the tender age of 16, I had a note book filled with pages torn from various magazines, my wedding completely planned out in my mind. From the Scarlett O'Hara white swiss dot organza hoop dress  complete with floppy hat to the yellow bridesmaids dresses, the perfect yellow roses to the summer gray tuxes the groom and groomsmen would don. Every detail was already set in my mind's eye. I even had the groom picked out. Jeffery was his name.

Needless to say, none of that worked out. I laugh out loud at the thoughts of how far off course the vision and the reality actually were. By the time I married, my father was deceased. My little white church was a chapel in Nevada and my beautiful white hoop dress was a champagne lace tea length dress wrinkled from the many hours of flight in a suitcase somewhere in the belly of a plane. There were no yellow roses, no gray tuxes, no family and friends to help us celebrate. Just a little round preacher, me and my groom whose name was not Jeff.

Mary was a woman, like any other. A woman feels before she sees, a woman can visualize her dreams and those dreams and hopes are as real to her as any tangible object. Like every little girl, Mary most likely held to the hope that someday her prince would come.

That is why her offering is all the more significant. Mary broke open the seal on the most costly possession that she owned, an alabaster vial of Nard, her dowry.  A precious perfume, often used in two rituals. One the consummation of the marriage and the other, the  burial of the dead.

Mary, first anoints the head of Jesus with the oil intended to anoint the head of her husband. In doing this, Mary has placed Christ above any earthly husband. She yields herself to "the bridegroom" and gives him the place of adoration and supplication that would have been reserved for her own husband. She then lays herself at his feet.

The scripture says that she washed his feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. Yet again another job conceded to the wife or servants, the washing of feet would have been one more act of submission and servitude on her wedding night. That day she brought to Jesus all of her hopes, her dreams, her desires and her promises. She lay them at his feet with her tears. Fully reconciled with her past, she knew this man alone could bring her the gift of eternal life.

Lastly, Mary brought to Jesus her passion. We females of every species are passionate beings. Just get between a woman and her kids, or her chocolate, you will see. Mary's tears were also a sign of her passion. She loved this man who had changed her in her inner most being. She loved that he saw something in her that no other could. She understood who he was, what he was doing and what he was about to do.

I believe she could feel in her spirit that all he said was true and she knew this would be the last time she would have an opportunity to show her love to him while he was alive and in doing so lovingly prepared his body for the impending death that she understood was to come. I believe she understood his mission better than anyone else, yet she still could not comprehend the resurrection he spoke of.

In her passion for who he was, she broke open the only thing she had to give him. Not the vial of precious oil, but her heart and in that moment she captured his heart as well. In the days to follow this event, her sister Martha would host another dinner where she would complain that Mary was being no help to her. Jesus would gently rebuke Martha and assure her that Mary had chosen what was best, to sit at his feet and drink in all that he would foretell.

When Lazarus was taken ill and eventually died, Mary runs to him and once again falls at his feet. Her passion for the loss of her brother overwhelms him and for the first time we see Jesus, the man, weep. I believe he felt her pain deeply because he knew that she believed he had failed her.

Martha was first to rush to Jesus on the road to Bethany, she spoke the words to him "if you had been her, my brother would not have died", Jesus assures her of who He is and that her brother we surely live again. He knows her well, Martha is a black and white kind of no nonsense gal. A real take the bull by the horns chic. She does not mince words, she says what she means and means what she says. A real go-getter and a leader. He knows her, he knows if He tells her, she will believe.

He then inquires as to Mary's whereabouts. He knows her too and when she utters the almost identical words as her sister, He knows that Mary is so much like the majority of humanity. She believes, yet there is just this small tinge of unbelief and this small portion pains him greatly. He assures her that Lazarus sleeps but only so that God may get the Glory.

Can I just admit here, this is me? Completely and totally. I believe. I know and yet my heart craves the physical manifestation of confirmation of the promises that God has given me. and when I do not see the evidence in the time frame that I think it should come to pass, then I can become devastated. Not that I don't believe the promises God has made, "but Lord if you had only........." I believe, Lord help my unbelief.

On that day in Simon's home, Jesus recognized the sincerity of Mary's heart and sacrifice, just as David capture the heart of the Father in his desire to do the will of the father despite his shortcomings.  When the disciples and other guests mocked her, he scolded them and honored her saying that what she did was a beautiful thing that would be remember and told through history.

Mary, beautifully broken Mary. The cost of her oil so great.

So as I sit here tonight, I ask myself the question that I ask you. What is the cost of your oil? There are not enough pages and time to list everything for me. My pride, my heartache, my pain, my hopes, my dreams, my sins, my husband, my shame, my guilt, my failures, my unbelief just a few of the things that I lay at the feet of my Savior. I know the depth of the sin from which he saved me and I too offer my oil in adoration of who He is and what He has done. I give him my tears of sorrow and gratitude.

I leave you with this. When Mary broke open the alabaster vial, the sweet spicy scent of the perfume permeated the air. The scriptures say its fragrance filled the air. When Mary dried Jesus feet with her hair, His scent would have become embedded in the very fiber of her being. Wherever she went, His fragrance would fill the air. But Mary chose a more beautiful thing, I believe that in sitting at his feet, absorbing all His words, the sweet fragrance of His spirit spilled over onto her and every where she went, people would know she had been with the master.

Holy Spirit, fill me with your fragrance and every where I go, may people know that I have spent time at Your feet. May they know that I carry You with me and may Your fragrance fill the room.

What is the cost of your oil? (Part 2)

"Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom"

In Matthew, Luke and Mark's accounts the woman remains nameless, yet Jesus says that her name will be remembered through out the ages for this one simple act. Not for his glory but for her sacrifice. Each of these accounts refer to her as a woman with a sinful past, only in  John's account, do we learn that this is Mary, sister to Martha and Lazarus.

So what was the cost of Mary's sacrifice?

Mary brought to Jesus her pride. The scripture says that when she entered the home of Simon the other guests "peered" at her. I do not know about you, but I understand the "peer" all too well. I have felt that same gaze on me more times than I want to recollect. The "peer" is hostile, judgmental, it makes you feel dirty even after you have been cleansed. It is a tool used by the enemy at the hand (most often, unfortunately) of those claiming righteousness. I've been guilty myself, a few times, of offering the "peer". It emanates disgust and contempt.

Mary knew the home she was entering into. Most likely there was some family connection, as Martha was there serving that day and Lazarus was one of the members in attendance. Theologians are not in agreement in Mary's description. Some even propose that this incidence is a flashback of such, to a time prior to Lazarus' death and resurrection. Either way, Mary knew her sin without having to be reminded, just as none of us really needs another to call out our sin. Even the soul in denial has some inkling left deep inside that speaks to what little good is slumbering to say "awaken, return to the way you know you should go".

She entered the home of a Pharisee, the people of this time, knew the religious leaders. The reputation of these men of the law was well known. Before taking her first steps through the doorway, Mary knew that ridicule, at the very least, awaited her. Her gratitude greater than her pride, she made her way to the one who had saved her from herself and the sin that had so long held her captive.

She understood the depths from which he had saved her and everything within in her compelled her to fall before his feet. Past the scoffers, the peering crowd, those who would have cast her out given the chance.

In the summer of 2012, the Holy Spirit compelled me to confess the sin that had been my downfall in the presence of 500 or so of my fellow church folk. Terrified, broken, humiliated, I confessed what I had done. My sins long since forgiven by the Savior, yet, the Spirit moved me to do this painful act. Confused, yet obedient, I lay in tears all night asking the Father, "why would you have me do this?" the answer at the time was "so that your husband could see the sacrifice made for him" yet now, I also see that this had to happen to take down that last little piece of the wall of pride in my life. The walk of shame as it were. Now, some would say that a loving God would not require such or that a loving God would not cause pain on purpose. I beg to differ, you see, my Father knew I would have to hit the very bottom of myself, that I would have to be stripped of all areas of pride, that I would have to remember this confession, in order to be used in His kingdom as He wanted to use me. I had no choice other than to put my pride to the side, walk past the "peering" of those who claimed to love me most, and be obedient to the one who would reclaim my sin for His glory.

Mary brought to Jesus her past. I love this character of Mary, probably more so than most of the biblical characters. You see, more than anyone else who came in contact with Jesus on a regular basis, I believe Mary got it. She, even before the disciples, understood who He was and what He not only meant for her but for the world. These poor 12 disciples are so much like church folk today. God bless their hearts, they were good guys. Plain and simple men, men from good homes, men from uneventful pasts. Not one "real" sinner among them. You know what I'm talking about! It is so easy for those raised in church to take for granted the saving power of Christ.

Let's face it, we humans weigh sin. We like to give it degrees, measurements and a rating scale. In the Inferno, Dante describes his version of what he believes Hell to be. Nine circles, each circle representing a level of sin higher than the rest. We mere mortals like this, it makes us feel better to compare our sin to those of others around us. While there is no particular scripture to dispute this, and while there are divisions of sin and abominations in the scripture, the fact still remains that one price and one price alone makes the atonement for all sin: the blood of the Lamb of God. Therefore we are to assume that no sin outweighs another.

You see these men, these church folk, who are to be commended for their keeping of the laws, had no idea and no way to measure the depths of the restitution to be made for their souls in just eleven short days. Mary, having tasted just a small portion on Earth, knew the Hell that had awaited her prior to her touch from the Savior. She knew exactly what she had been saved from.

Mary lay it all at his feet that day. I can tell you from personal experience, though the Lord had forgiven her sins, probably many months before this day, Mary still carried the guilt and shame with her. It is incomprehensible for the  soul entrenched in sin to fathom how one act of repentance can wipe the slate clean. Here again our human nature takes charge and the condemnation of the enemy and our fellow man is carried with us like an internal scarlet letter. We project the actions of humans onto the character of the Father. The rejection and judgment of man must surely be a reflection of the Father's heart.

So forgiven of her sins, I believe it was on this day that Mary reconciled in her own heart and mind the provision made for her in this Savior and finally forgave herself.

Don't forget to check back for part 3 of What Is the Cost of Your Oil?

What is the cost of your oil? (Part 1)

Part One

As is common for me, the Lord woke me with a song this morning. Sometimes it is the sound in my head that wakes me in the wee morning hours. Sometimes it comes to me as I am preparing for my day. Sometimes it is a hymn, sometimes a Southern Gospel song, sometimes as a Praise and Worship song. Always, it is something that not only speaks to my circumstances at the time, but often is a promise for the situation. Today was no exception. Before my eyes opened from slumber this morning, in those moments where you are not quite awake and not quite asleep, in my spirit I heard these words so sweetly sung by Selah

Oh, draw me Lord, Oh, draw me Lord

and I'll run after you. 

I lay here for a little while singing this song, not as a song but more as a prayer. Draw me, Lord...Draw me....

Implying that I cannot do this myself. That it is His strength that brings me to Him. Actually, this is not an implication. In the last few days, it has not been my strength or my searching that has brought me before the throne, but the Power of Christ alone. 

For several weeks now there has been constant chaos. To a person who already finds it hard to trust people, these last few weeks have had me on edge. From the outside, I know that is not how I appear. I appear confident and open and trusting, but really that is not who I am. I'm the person putting myself out there, then waiting for the next shoe to drop. Most of my experiences in life have left me expecting people to walk away, expecting the betrayal, expecting to be hurt. Being completely and perfectly honest right this minute, with myself and you, there are a small handful of people who know most things about me, no one really knows everything about me. And as near to me as these dear friends are, it would not surprise or shock me if betrayal were to suddenly come from their hands. This is not a reflection by any means on their character or moral fiber, it is simply a self-preservation coping mechanism that I have carried with me through out my life. 

Three years ago, the Holy Spirit gave me a command. Since then many things have changed, things have come to pass that in my mind's eye I never could have conceived. In all of this, I tend to project my experiences with humans onto our Heavenly Father. I hear His voice and I've seen His hand in so many situations and areas of my life, yet, still I sit here in my frailness and expect Him to disappoint me like His creations. 

While in my devotion time this morning I read the account of the the alabaster box from the book of Mark. We all know the account. Jesus is dining with Simon the Leper, who actually at this time should have been called Simon the former leper. You see Simon has been cleansed at this time, the healing power of Christ has already touched his life. We know this from the mere factor that dignitaries are dining with him. Had he remained in his disease, he would have been quarantined or exiled. This put an incredible new spin on this story for me. 

Simon's salvation and restoration from this disease cost him very little. Apparently, it was so insignificant to him that even after being miraculously healed, he returns immediately to his Pharisaical mindset. Arrogance, superiority, piousness, self-righteousness. He has also surrounded him self once again with people who share the same attitudes. 

Judas, never ceases to disappoint as the villain. Perhaps if we did not know the end of his story we may be able to identify with him more. Let's face it, no one wants to be the bad guy. Everyone wants to be the guy in the white hat on the white horse. We all want to ride off into the sunset the hero. But what if we did not know Judas as the betrayer, what if we never knew that such an atrocity against the savior would come from his hands. Would we be able to see ourselves in his judgement in this story? Would we too, being in this setting have thought of the practicality of her actions. I do not fool myself into believing that Judas was worried by any means about the poor, but I do know that most of us would look at the her actions and see only the monetary implications. "If I had her money I would have....." "or she should have...." fill in the blanks with your own thoughts. 

In the past, I have been so guilty of this. I'm so ashamed to say that it is easy for me to slip back into this old mindset, like Judas, like Simon, like the other guests, the congregation as it be. In my travels and ministerial opportunities I have been in all denominations, little country churches and churches of thousands. Churches with millions at their disposals and churches where the pastor puts his salary back into the offering plate just to keep the doors open. Yet this one thing I have witnessed in almost every congregation, let someone come in that does not look like us, let someone come in filthy, in clothes we deem inappropriate, with a deforming disability, with a reputation of some sin we ourselves have not committed, with something that keeps them from just quite fitting in. How many people greet them after church, how many slide over to let them sit beside them? 

I'm not pointing fingers here. I have been just as guilty on way more occasions than I care to admit. I still struggle with this. I have to make a conscious effort to not let my mind go into that place of spiritual arrogance. Because the truth is, if we could see the inner being instead of the outer shell, then there are many times in my life that no one would have spoken to me, no one would have acknowledged me, no one would have offered me a seat. 

In ancient times, it was customary for women to receive a dowry when becoming the the age for marriage. Often times this dowry was something of high value, passed as an heirloom from mother to daughter. It is believed by some scholars that Mary presents herself with her dowry. In this day of plastic and ceramics, of excess and surplus. It is hard for us to comprehend the significance of what Mary has done here.

My mother loves trinkets and boxes and bowls and vases. Through out her home, there are knick-knacks galore. I dare say that there is not one table top, corner or shelf that is not consumed by a plethora of things to constantly be dusted. At every turn there is something new to capture the attention. If it sits still, there is something sitting on it. My minimalist decorative style is a constant source of frustration for her I am sure. I don't like to dust, period, so I'd rather not have the knick-knacks. Its beautiful, its elegant and I'm sure many of my readers enjoy the same style. Turn them all over and most will say made in China, India or Mexico. Cheaply produced by mass production, in factories where the workers are paid a pittance for the work of their hands, and sold in Walmarts, Targets and Kirklands throughout the US where we can pay as little or as much as we want for something that has no practical use. 

This is not the case with Mary, most likely this was the  most valuable possession she owned. Mostly likely it represented all the wealth she owned. Most likely it was saved to be her dowry or to anoint the head of her husband on the night of her marriage, and act of symbolism, and supplication and submission to the man she would pledge the life and loyalty to. 

The oil inside the box would have been costly. In the scriptures it is named as Nard. Nard being the common name for Spikenard which is a derivative of a plant found high in the Himalayan mountains. Hard to find, hard to harvest, difficult to process and found far from the home of Simon the Leper.  By the time production and transportation were paid for this oil, its value was not something the sane person would want to waste. The shock and disbelief that Mary would present this oil to someone like Jesus was well deserved. 

These very people, including some of the disciples, knew there was something significant about Jesus. They wanted to believe he was who he said he was, yet there was something in them that still scoffed from time to time. In this scene alone it is evidenced as it is said, "If he were truly a prophet, he would know who this woman is...".  If is one of the smallest words in the English language yet implicates so much. 

But this was not the end to the costliness of Mary's sacrifice, the very alabaster box was not really a box as we would conceive it, on the contrary it was more like a vial. This vial was not a machine made, mass produced glass bottle in which we are used to seeing our perfumes stored. The vial that would have held this precious, priceless oil would have been painstaking and perhaps elegant carved by the hands of a master craftsman, hours and days maybe even weeks would have been allotted for the production of this one vial. Before being placed into the hand of the artisan, the alabaster itself would have been dug from the quarries somewhere in Egypt, most likely by the hands of one in captivity and already a price would have been paid for its acquisition. Once the transformation from a block of gypsum into a beautiful vessel was completed, the oil would have been painstakingly pour with precision, so as to not lose one drop. The cap would have been set in place and a permanent seal would have completed the preparation for the new owner. This alabaster box would then have made a journey from market to market along the trade ways of the Middle East until it was purchased at a great price by someone who knew its value. To think that Mary had come into its possession was nothing short of miraculous in itself. 

Be sure to join me for part two of What is the cost of your oil?

Today's offering Oh, Draw Me Lord by Selah

Break Every Chain

In our family devotion time tonight, there was a scenario given in the devotional. The author stated that elephants, though they weigh tons, can be contained by flimsy chains that easily could be snapped with very little effort on the elephant's part. It seems that a baby elephant, introduced to chains in captivity very early, will become conditioned to the fact that he cannot break the heavy chains in which he is ensnared. Once the elephant is fully grown, these same chains still hold this elephant in place, yet comparatively to the elephant's size now, the chains are small and the elephant could break free at anytime. In his mind, the now relatively small chains, are still just as big and strong as the first day he became captive.

So it goes with our sins. There are those bound in chains by the enemy of our souls. They have been taken captive. The lure of the angel of light was too strong for just a short period too long. You see the enemy comes as every thing you could ever want. He comes in the person that promises you everything you think you do not have. He comes in the possession you think you must acquire. He comes in the activity that possesses your most frequent thoughts.   Satan can take something that very easily could be a good thing, and twist it and turn it and manipulate it into something unrecognizable.

The pitcher plant symbolizes this easily. The unique and beautiful carnivorous plants emit pheromones from the nectar that is irresistible to small creatures of every kind. Now, this is no normal nectar. The nectar is actually the digestive juices of the plant. Once enticed into the neck of this plant, its prey finds itself drawn deeper and deeper into the belly by false exits and counterfeit pathways, until it is finally engulfed in the sticky sweet toxic juices. Slowly and steadily the victim is digested alive. The intended diner has become dinner.

The snare of the enemy is just like this. Sin lures us in with the promise of what we think we desire most. A counterfeit reality that is so appealing and speaks to those places in the corners of our minds and souls where our deepest insecurities lie. For a while, we settle into this sin that seems like everything we have ever wanted. We taste its pleasures and are mistakenly convinced that we have hit the jackpot. We become convinced that this thing that has called us to this place is the very thing that will set us free from a bad job, a bored life, a struggling marriage.

For me, this was exactly how it began. Feeling neglected and under appreciated, not to mention insecure in myself with my weight being over 70 lbs heavier than I should have been, at a time of deep depression, the enemy found me ripe for the picking. Having allowed my relationship with the Lord to wain, it was incredibly easy for Satan to ensnare me. Just a few words from a source from my past and I was lured by our enemy into a situation that spiraled out of control and would have become my down fall if the Holy Spirit, in His grace and mercy, had not called my name.

You see, I had been a believer. I had ministered the gospel. I had taught classes. I had lead worship. Yet, despite all these "good works" my heart was not where it should have been. I had let my relationship with the Lord become stale and ineffective. It was this gateway that the enemy used like the mouth and nectar of those pretty carnivorous plants, to pull me in and slowly begin to devour me a little at a time.

Though my emotional affair did not result in a physical affair, the enemy still took this and ran with it. My accusers would exploit this stumbling and use it to justify their own submission to the enemy and his plan. This too is what the enemy does, he not only binds you in the chains that he has placed on you, but he allows the transgressions of others to imprison you also.

Having not been taught how to pray scriptures, how to speak to the enemy, how to conduct spiritual warfare, I was powerless I thought to change my circumstances. The sinner ensnared will often adopt a hopelessness. After the Lord reclaimed me as His own, the battle raged on and took another turn. My prayers began to be for the souls of those I loved that were now ensnared in the enemy's trap.

2 Timothy 2:26 "and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will." became the prayer of my heart for my loved one taken captive. Morning, noon and night, I would pray this scripture fervently for my loved one who had so cunningly been enslaved by the pretty poison of the enemy.

There is a term for those who have left their covenant marriages to follow the counterfeit plans of the enemy. The term is simply "prodigal". Prodigals that have returned from the far country will all report that the very things that promised pleasure become the fetters around their necks. Experts also tell us that former prodigals report repeatedly to them that the desire to go back home was overwhelmingly great, yet the enemy kept telling them that what they had done was too horrible for them to make restitution to their spouses and to God.

Drug addicts, pornography addicts, alcoholics and murderers alike report the same feeling. The chains of the enemy leave the captive feeling that it is useless to repent, that God could never forgive them and neither could the people that they have harmed the most.

LIES, LIES, LIES. straight from the enemy to keep "baby elephants" bound to chains that could be easily snapped into by calling on the name of Jesus.

In 1917 Haldor Lillenaus penned the lyrics to the Hymn Glorious Freedom

Once I was bound by sin’s galling fetters;
Chained like a slave, I struggled in vain.
But I received a glorious freedom,
When Jesus broke my fetters in twain.

You see, I sit here tonight a former prodigal. The insecure, depressed, captive woman, who almost walked completely away from the best things that life had afforded her can tell you with total humility and assurance, that our God forgives. Our God will restore our souls. He will give us back the years the locusts have eaten, if we sincerely repent, turn from our sin and live a life obediently surrendered to our Savior. 

Yaweh himself called King David "a man after His own heart", yet David had broken every single commandment given on Mt. Sinai. David coveted the wife of one of his very own, he committed adultery against the wife of his youth (Michael was not deceased, nor did he turn her away, she was tucked away somewhere). When David discovered that this woman he had taken, was now with child, he ensured the death of her husband, thus committing murder. Over and over, David grieved the heart of God and over and over, God forgave him. Why? I submit to you that it was because David was a man that knew how to repent. When you read the Psalms, you can feel the anguish experienced by this earthly king. The words bring to life vivid images of a man not just sorry that he had been caught, but lamenting the distance that he had placed between him self and his Lord and the damage he had done to others. David was a man that knew how to learn a lesson. He never repeated the same sin twice. It was for this reason that he became a man highly esteemed by God, not that he did not sin, but that it was his desire not to and when he did, David did not blame someone else and he did not try to justify his sin.  David was a man that knew how to repent. He owned it, he admitted it, he repented it and he turned from it and so it was in his turning that David gained the attention of the Almighty. Though, there were earthly consequences for his sin, the Father restored David's soul into right standing. 

My friend Ricky Atkinson wrote a song several years ago called The Prodigal, he also wrote one called The Prodigal's father. The lyrics state, "What about the Prodigal's father? What about the grace He'd shown? Talk about his love and forgiveness when the prodigal came back home. What about the Prodigal's father came running to meet his son? What about a great celebration when the prodigal's journey was done?"

Reader, I do not know what you have have done. I do not know your sin. I do not need to. The Father knows. Psalm 139:7 states "Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? 8If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.…" There is no where you can run in your sin that the Father does not see you. I don't know about you but this thrills me and terrifies me at the same time. Yet I rest in the assurance tonight, having repented and turned, having surrendered everything to our Lord to be covered by the blood of Jesus, that the sins of my past  will no long be counted against me. 

My soul finds rest in the comfort that the Holy Spirit is with me, and that the HOly Spirit caught me before my sins became an abomination. I am grateful for the mercy of our Father and the sacrifice of our Savior. 

Isaiah 52:2

Shake yourself from the dust, rise up, O captive Jerusalem; Loose yourself from the chains around your neck, O captive daughter of Zion.

Imagine yourself now as that prodigal, filthy from the muck and the mire of the pigpen of your shame. The penalty for what you have done, by law is death, but the Father seeing you while still in that far country, is running to you beckoning you to meet him there. Picture yourself on that road back home, where the Father waits to rejoice over your return. Meet him on that road. Embrace the sacrifice of the Savior. 

Isaiah 61:1 is the scripture the Lord has been continuously sending me today. THE Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the LORD. 

Today on Joni Tabletalk, Dr. Doug Weiss, the guest speaker says that Pride is the only thing that hinders us from surrendering everything to the Father and getting free. Get the enemy out of your ear, find  someone to admit this sin to, repent and turn, run to arms of your Father, let the atoning blood of Jesus break every chain the enemy has used to keep you bound. I pray this gives you hope, I pray this gives you the encouragement you need to surrender your chains to the Savior. For whom the Son has set free, is free indeed.

Blessings,

Shannon

Today's video: Chris Tomlin, Amazing Grace/My Chains Are Gone

Introducing...

Well, It's time for another guest blogger today. How do I know?  If nothing else has totally left me in awe over the last three years it is the fact that God, not Shannon, puts people into our paths in incredible ways and at just the right time. This talented and remarkable young lady's bio blew me away. And God has us introduced at just the right moment.

I know you will enjoy this. Her testimony blessed me very much and, as only God can, came at the very moment I needed it most.

Behind The Songs – Loved You Well

May 5, 2014

Can’t think of a better way to welcome in a release of a new album than to end Behind The Songs with Loved You Well! Releasing here on the West Coast on CD Baby in less than 15 minutes! Already released on iTunes!!! Woo hoo!

Track 10. Loved You Well

This was both a painful song to write and a liberating, healing song to write. Let me expound…
After 13 years of marriage (married August 1, 1987) and 3 children: 12, 9 & 3, we were divorced. A few months later saw us far away in the high desert of Colorado Springs, CO trying to see if we could put the pieces back together again. We had everything to gain and nothing to lose, since we had already lost everything. Let me say, that God’s grace is sufficient. He is a VERY BIG God and can do anything, including reconciling broken marriages, first by reconciling the two to Himself, and then to each other. Which is what God did for my husband and me.
It was the hardest thing we have ever done to allow Him to work in our hearts and to learn how to die to ourselves, removing any sense of entitlement of “it’s not fair”. Likewise, the cross wasn’t fair. But He (Christ Jesus), willingly laid down His life for us and then gloriously raised it back up again. It really is the hardest thing to lay down your life for another human being when you have been treated in a way that is poor. But in our instance it was mutual. We both were horrible at loving each other unconditionally. We had so much to learn about what Christ did at the cross for us. What true love meant. I learned in our counseling (it was quite the epiphany, although seems like a “no-brainer”), that the same God that died for me, also died for my husband and all his sins and failures.
A cloud of witnesses rejoiced along with our children and parents. We were re-married on August 16, 2000, making every wrong right, and our lives became sold out to Christ as a result. Our children made strong commitments to Christ and to purity, including our daughters who made vows to remain pure until marriage; they saved their first kiss for the altar with their husbands and greatly honored their father and me (their brother is following in their footsteps).

Reconciled and re-married, August 16, 2000.

I realize that not every relationship can turn around and find a place of reconciliation like ours did. That is the reality of a fallen world. But God takes us where we are at, even when we fail and the other person gives up or we give up. Sometimes the damage is too great. It takes both partners to be willing to work through their pain and come back together again. This is what we chose, and our lives were never the same again, nor our children’s lives and we have no regrets when we have seen the outcomes.
On August 16, 2000 we re-married each other and it’s been another 13 and 1/2 years. It will be 27 years this August (we still count all the years), but the kids like to celebrate the first anniversary because then it means that they count. Craig and I like to celebrate the second one because it was the one we worked the hardest for. To simplify things, we celebrate from August 1 – August 16! :)
Here we are now, still plugging along. I’d like to say it get’s easier, sometimes it does, but other times, it gets just as challenging as we face milestones such as job changes, retirement, marrying off adult children and becoming empty nesters. Even stepping out in faith with this music ministry has been a great challenge to us. I know that the Enemy of God does not want to see us be successful for the Kingdom. So we dig our heels in a little deeper, cling on to our faith a bit tighter and try to trust Him through all the unknowns. He doesn’t guarantee that there will be no pain (in fact, He assures it) but He guarantees that He will never leave us and that He will carry us through the hard times…if we let Him.
What might it look like if we learned to love each other well? Not just our spouses, but even our family members, friends and then our enemies (those who are set against us). Will people that watch us, know that we are Christians because we choose to love each other well to the finish, or do we end up like those who have no hope? Where is our hope? Is our God big enough for us?
Finish well by loving well, if you are able....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfS9BHfVGlU

A seasoned singer/songwriter, keyboardist and speaker, Jen weaves her love of music and her professional career as a Christian mental health counselor, along with her personal testimony of God’s faithfulness in her own life. Her music ministry is an expression of hope and healing to those who are hurting in a world of uncertain times.

Jen is available for speaking and singing engagements. She is currently looking for dates in the GA/TN areas in the next month. Do yourself a favor...go follow her at  http://jenhaugland.com/. You will be blessed.

He Knows My Name

He Knows My Name

"So Hagar named the LORD who spoke to her, "You are the God who sees me," for she said, "Here I have seen one who sees me!" Genesis 16:13

EL ROI...this is the name given to Yaweh by Hagar on her darkest day. The God who watches over me or the God who sees me. Hagar (meaning stranger), was an Eyptian slave girl, owned by Sarai, wife of Abram. It is thought that Sarai may have come to posses Hagar as a means of dowry from Pharaoh. God had promised children to Abram and Sarai, and after some time, when the promise did not seem to be coming to pass, Sarai offered Hagar to Abram in hopes to surrogate a family through her womb. After, Sarai and Abram's disobedience, chaos sets in as is often the case when we get before the Lord in His plans. Hagar, after an altercation with Sarai, flees to the desert and at her lowest point the angel of the Lord comes to her. He calls her by name. "Hagar, Sarai's maid. Where have you come from and where are you going?" He called her by name. 

Isaiah 40:26

Lift up your eyes on high, and see who has created these, who brings out their army by number. He calls them all by name. By the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power, not one is lacking.

Each of my children were called by another name most of the duration of my pregnancies. John Paul was David Thomas until a couple of days before he was born. Chris Anne was at first called Mary Will, then Annie Elizabeth, until a few months before she came into this world. My late little surprise was James Eli until three or four days after his birth. His father had always wanted a little boy named after him, so when he came into this world so sickly, so helpless, I surprised his father with this gift to the man who for so long had been my rock and this nameless little fellow became Stanley Chris Sheppard II. 

So it is with me, there are many names the enemy has called me over the years. Worthless, Cursed, Adulterer, Addicted, Promiscuous, Idolater, Liar, Thief, Unhealthy, Unstable, Murderer, Rejected, Abandoned, Unwanted, Unloved, Suicidal..Sinner. Just a few of the names Satan has used against me at some point and time in my life. Harsh realities of the characteristics of the sins of my past and the enemy of our souls calls us by the name of these sins. He uses people and situations to remind us of these names he, others and sometimes we label ourselves. 

For so long, I allowed the accuser to call me by my sin. Until the day, that my father called me by the name He has given me...daughter. 

In the Old Testament, when God or His angels called a person by name, it was before a promise was given. After the angel of the Lord called Haggar by name, he gave her the promise that her son would too have a powerful inheritance. That the name of Ishmael would live on and go after him for generations. 

After changing Abram and Sarai's name, Jehovah gave them desires of their hearts and the promise made to them in years past.  Jacob's name was changed after wrestling through the night with an angel of the Lord and the promises made to him came to fruition. Joseph's name was changed and the years of despair and sorrow were restored to him in unimaginable bounty. Haddasah's name was changed and the entire Jewish race was saved through Esther's obedience to the Lord. 

In the New Testament we find that the calling of a name does not coincide with a promise to come, but with the immediate changing of hearts and lives. Just as we no longer need a high priest to come before the throne of God for us, we no longer need a promise of salvation. We have the Holy Spirit who dwells within in us and Jesus our intercessor who not only pleads our case before the Father, but changes us and the promise of salvation is done and assured once we encounter Him. 

When Jesus began his earthly ministry, he recruited twelve common men. Men of no circumstance to the world, men who worked predominately among the lowliest professions, who were known only within the gates of their own cities. Yet each one He called by name and many, like Simon He changed their names. 

The authors of the New Testament did not hold as much stock in women obviously as much as did the writers of the Old Testament. There are many women that Jesus spoke directly to, yet their names are never mentioned though their stories are so significant. Millions of sermons have been preached the world over about the Samaritan woman at the well. Though we are never told her name, Jesus knew it all along, for he knew everything about her. He even knew the name of her sin, for it was how she was identified among her people. But when she left that well, her "name" would forever be changed among her people because not only was she different, but she brought them back to the one who touched and changed each of their lives as well. Can you just imagine the stories told of her within the city gates after that day?   I can see the people gathered around their fires at night, recounting time an again to their children of the once sinful woman who brought them to the man who gave them living water. I can just imagine that with so many husbands and lovers, she had to have had children of her own and those children had to have felt the shame of her sin as well. Can you envision the healing in their hearts as their mother was no longer the same, instead of feeling shame at her name, they would now feel a sense of pride.

Jairus's daughter is never called by name in the story. Though we never know her as anything but this man's daughter, Jesus knew her by name and when he called her from her death slumber, he would have used her name, just as he did with Lazarus. Had he only spoken the words that day and at the tomb, "Talitha Cum" or "come forth", the power in His voice would have brought forth all the dead from their slumber and tombs. Yet he chose to call each by their names, so that only those whom He called would be awakened from the sleep of death. The ultimate change from death to life.  

Mary Magdalene, knew the value of a name. As she stood outside the tomb, searching in vain for the body of the one she loved so, I can only imagine that memories flood her mind as the tears flowed freely down her face. She who had once been overwhelmed by demons, whose name once evoked feelings of repulsion from her neighbors, perhaps even her family members, knew the voice of the one who had called her by name. She loved him so, she longed to show him this one last act of her devotion. In the open door of the tomb she stood weeping, when once again she heard her name. “Mary”. Oh the joy she must have felt, for she knew this voice as the one who changed her name from cursed to beloved. Upon hearing his voice one more time she, overjoyed ran to tell of the Savior who once again had called her name. 

Oh, how I wish I could convey to you what He did for me when He called my name. He did this just for me. He brought me out of my slumber, out of my complacency, out of death and into life. He change my name, and though my enemies would still try to call me by my old name, though Satan would call me by my sin, my Father has changed my name. He calls me daughter. 

There was a point and time over the last three years that I resented the very thought that God had seen everything that was going on in my life, yet chose not to intervene. Many said to me that God had seen this coming and He had allowed it to happen. I choose not to believe this. I choose to see my Father weeping with me over the disobedience of one He has called by name time and time again and wants so desperately to change his name to "son". 

You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its remotest parts And said to you, 'You are My servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you. 10'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:9-10

Tonight the Holy Spirit finally allowed me to work on this piece. I began this writing in November and so much wanted to work on this yet something always threw up a roadblock every time I sat down. Since Thanksgiving there has been only one paragraph.  I sat down tonight, after the kids were asleep, with my cup of coffee in hand, a fire burning warmly and brightly in the hearth spilling the only light into the room with the exception of this computer screen, praise music washing over me from the ear buds drowning out all other sounds in the darkness and solitude of the night. Time after time this is my routine as I write. I begin with the prayer, "Holy Spirit, speak through me,"  and enter into a time of worship. 

On this night, just before sitting down to settle in, I read a friend's post. She asked for encouragement and with the words that the Holy Spirit gave me to give to her, the flood gates once again opened on this piece. Isaiah 41:9-10 were the scriptures He gave me for her along with these words. "He knows your name and not only does he hold you in his hand but your name is engraved in His palm. Rest in this assurance, Nothing comes to you that does not sift through the fingers of the hand bearing your name."  The very words He gave me for some one else, ministered to me as well. 

Not only does He know my name but He has engraved my name on His palm. To engrave is to carve out, to leave an indention. Engraving is a deliberate act, one requiring precision and forethought. Engraving at one point and time, in the not so distant past, was an art performed by master craftsmen, highly valued and costly, affordable to only a select and chosen few. The initial imagine brought to mind when hearing this scripture would be to see your name on a fleshly, disembodied hand in neat and orderly Old English script.

This image is one that would make the hardest of hearts all warm and fuzzy. However, I submit to you that is image is completely false. For you see, within the palm of His hand is not a neat and tidy script with my name in perfect letters for me to see. In that Hand there is but one scar. A scar that represent  not just my name, but the names of all humanity, a scar of incredible cost, for which He paid the ultimate price. For the God who sees me will one  day call my name for the last time, and on that day I will place my hand in the palm of the hand that holds the scar in the shape of a nail which held Him on a cross, where He bled and died to change my name from sinner to daughter.

Today's video is from my friend Nate Fortner. Nate is an incredible song writer, singer, preacher and is an editor and author. He was nominated as 2014 Male Artist of the Year for Artists Music Guild. This young man has an incredible heart for the Lord and seeing the lost come to Jesus. Be sure to visit his website www.natefortner.com

Be Blessed, 

Shannon

Introducing....

It has been a few weeks since my last blog. The Lord has had me studying more lately, and writing less. I miss the words flowing freely, but I will be obedient. I have started two new blogs, and only gotten a few paragraphs into each. Each are incredible topics, but it is as if the Holy Spirit says not yet. So....

You, dear reader, get an excellent treat. I told you in December that I would be featuring other bloggers from time to time and sharing some of your stories as well. This week I introduce to a gentleman with an awesome gift for words. Not only are his blogs a tremendous testimony to his life and restoration through Christ, but he is an incredibly gifted speaker,singer, instrumentalist and song writer.

I introduce to you Lee Lumley. Be sure to follow him at http://leelumley.blogspot.com and for his music you can find him at http://www.reverbnation.com/leelumley.  Once you start reading you won't want to stop. Meanwhile....I'm back to my writing and reading. 

Four Days Without Jesus

John 11:17

So when Jesus came He found that [Lazarus] had already been in the tomb four days.

They had sent for Jesus asking Him to come heal their brother. They believed that He was the Son of God and able to heal him. With expectation they waited patiently to see Him coming over the horizon. All the right things had been performed but still they watched their brother Lazarus take his last breath. In spite of their prayers, in spite of their faith, in spite of the fact that Jesus was able to heal him, Lazarus died. 

It's one thing to experience the death of someone you love but it's an entirely different thing to experience that loss when you have a personal relationship with the one who holds the power to heal them. Mary, Martha and Lazarus were close friends of Jesus. They knew Him intimately and knew that He was the Son of God and was able to heal. That is why they sent for Him to come. The message they sent was simply, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick". They didn't even ask for healing because they knew if Jesus showed up the healing would come. They trusted His heart and knew His love for Lazarus. That's why they must have very confused and heartbroken when Jesus didn't show up.

The next four days had to have been torture for them. Not only did Jesus not heal Lazarus but He also wasn't there to comfort them in their time of grief. Thoughts of despair must have set in. They were surrounded by people who were trying to comfort them but the one person they wanted to see wasn't there. I'm sure Satan was throwing all kinds of fiery darts their way. "Jesus isn't really the Son of God" - "If He really loved you He would have healed Lazarus" - "God failed!" We read in John 11:6 that when Jesus heard Lazarus was sick he stayed where he was for two more days. The one who loved them seemed to be in no hurry to get to them. It's enough to make even the most faithful believer doubt God's love.

Sometimes God's miracles require us to be in that place of despair before they occur. We have to get to a point of complete loss before we can know the fullness of His provision. You see Jesus didn't delay because He didn't love them. He delayed because He wanted them to experience the the joy of seeing resurrection power but in order to do so they had to experience the pain of losing a loved one to death. 

When Jesus finally came strolling down the lane to Bethany Mary said to Him, "Lord if you had been here he would not have died" (John 11:21) and the crowd said, "Could not this Man, who opened the eyes of the blind also have kept [Lazarus] from dying?" The anger, frustration and doubt that had built up over the past four days was now coming to light. Their loss was causing them to feel hopeless and they were focused on what Jesus didn't do and lost sight of what He was going to do. 

Notice that I didn't include Martha in that paragraph. We see in verse 21 that Martha, like Mary also said, "Lord, if you had been here he would not have died" but she doesn't stop there. In verse 22 she continues on to say, "But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You". Can I let you in on a secret? God isn't afraid of our anger. He's big enough that He can handle it. When we get angry with Him and tell him how we feel He doesn't give up on us and walk away. Look at Jesus on the cross. In His moment of despair he cried out, "My God, My God why have you forsaken me!". What God wants to see is if after our "Four Day Experience" of His apparent abandonment we will still have faith that He is who He says He is.

There is a hidden truth in this story that's easily overlooked. We are told that when Martha heard that Jesus was coming she ran to meet Him. Then it says "but Mary was sitting in the house" (verse 20) I believe what this is saying is that Martha was up and moving around trying to get on with her life because she believed that Jesus was able to anything, even after death. It doesn't mean she wasn't heartbroken but that she trusted God's will. Mary on the other hand was sitting still, stuck in the moment. She was so focused on what Jesus didn't do that she didn't realize He was there in her presence. We can't let our disappointment in what God didn't do keep us from looking forward to what God is going to do. 

Jesus walked up to the grave and told them to roll the stone away. Now is where the rubber meets the road. Martha who just moments ago was saying "even now I know whatever you ask of God, God will give you", was faced with putting that faith into action. It's no longer allowed to simply be a thought in her mind but God is requiring her to do something, something that in the worlds eyes makes no sense. Martha replies, "Lord by this time there is a stinch, for he has been in there for four days". You see Martha had faith that Jesus was able to raise Lazarus but she wanted it done her way. She wanted him to magically appear in front of them. Opening the tomb meant that she had to be reminded of the death. By witnessing the resurrection in this way the tomb would forever be part of the memory of Lazarus' resurrection. She wanted Jesus to erase the ugliness of the tomb from her mind but Jesus wanted to make the tomb part of the beauty of God's grace.

I don't know what loss you are dealing with today. Maybe it's the loss of a loved one, the loss of a marriage, the loss of a job. Maybe you've prayed until you're blue in the face and you trusted God to deliver you but He didn't. You may be frustrated and confused, even angry at God. I'm not going to tell you that God will raise your situation from the dead like He did Lazarus but He will put resurrection power in your life! The story of Lazarus isn't really about Lazarus' resurrection so much as about our experience when deliverance is delayed. In order for God to have complete Lordship over our life He has to be God in our "Four Day Experience" eventhough we think He has abandoned us. If He isn't Lord over those four days then He's not Lord at all. 

A slave no more, except to Him who saved me!

Lee Lumley

Romans 6:6 

"Knowing this, that our old man was crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves of sin. FOR HE WHO HAS DIED HAS BEEN FREED FROM SIN"

http://www.reverbnation.com/leelumley/song/20755674-life-after-hell

http://leelumley.bandcamp.com/track/life-after-hell

Blessings Y'all, 

Shannon