Lessons from the lowliest of places...

If you ride through my neighborhood, I am the crazy lady bent over the flowerbeds with my hiney up in the air like tacky plywood yard art. As funny as it may seem, I am not trying to be rude to my neighbors or passers by. I do not have an affliction that leaves me doubled over and I have not lost something.

I mean, come on…is there really any pretty way to pull weeds?

When a timber company comes in to clear land and they are not going to replant, they will leave a healthy tree every so far apart to reseed that piece of land naturally and eventually it does it’s job, dispersing seeds that in turn will become seedlings to repopulate the land.  I hate a sapling. There…I said it. I know they are necessary and inevitable, but to me they have come to symbolize sin not dealt with.

The spring that my world began to crumble there was an unusually high pollen count and along with this came an incredible number of saplings. I don’t know, maybe the number was the same as always and I had just never paid attention before. We lived on 90 acres of planted pines and hardwoods. It seemed that everywhere I turned there was another tiny pine popping up from the fertile soil around our house. Small, frail, tufts of green barely breaking through the dark rich ground or peeking through the straw in the flower beds consumed my moments spent out side.

In the months after I confessed my indiscretion and the months after finding out about the affair, during the time when I believed God was working to mend my marriage, God began to speak to me in these little saplings and in the multiple things around the house that needed to be repaired or taken care of. God began to show me how something so small could become so large if not tended to.  

Suddenly these tiny, spraggled tufts of green popping up in every inch of the yard consumed my moments. Every where I walked, like a crazed person, I needed to pluck them from the soil in which they were doing what saplings do…take root.

“Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.” Song of Solomon 2:15

Solomon in his wisdom spoke in Songs of Songs, “it is the little foxes that spoil the vineyards” He orders his men to hunt and destroy the foxes and bring them to him. In these little sprouts, barely able to cling to the ground, God showed me how quickly the little sins can take root and grow. I would look into the underbrush that would be burned off soon and God showed me how quickly these invasive little pines could become a mess of ground cover, entangling and snaring those who tried to walk through. How hidden dangers of the venomous snake and spider readily lurked in the disorder and chaos of the volunteer pines and oaks that quickly grew out of control in the unkept areas of the woods surrounding the house and cleared areas.

It was while pulling these small pines that seemed to replenish themselves with two for every one I removed, that God showed me how  the smallest, hidden sin remaining and not covered by grace could easily become out of control and how I had not done my part to cover my family in protection over the relentless pursuit of the enemy so that like this tiny green army, our territory had been invaded.

It was in this, the Holy Spirit showed me how my hidden sins of bitterness and selfishness so easily led me into a pit and how my husband’s seemingly innocent friendship escalated out of control so quickly and soon became a tool the enemy used to steal our joy, kill our marriage and destroy our family. A family once envied lay in shambles, at the feet of those who should have known how to prevent the enemy’s slaughter. A family in full blossom, entrusted with the gifts, talents and anointing of the Father, laid waste by an enemy’s snare that could have been prevented.

When my marriage was over and the children and I moved into town, the house I purchased was a repossession. The inside was a shamble and the yard had to be completely reclaimed.

As if the front hedges being overgrown were not enough, the back fence row had been untouched for years. Small trees, more saplings, weeds of many descriptions grew with wild abandon between my chain link fence and the wooden hurricane fencing that separated my little back yard from that of my neighbor. One of the very first purchases made was that of a hedge trimmer and a chainsaw.

For hours on end I would cut and hack away at the vines intertwined in the links of the metal fencing. Every few inches or so I would clip the thick encroaching vines and then painstakingly pull, tug and unwrap the vines choking this fence until finally after days of monotonous and toilsome labor the fence row was finally free from its captor. Sweat mixed with tears as the Holy Spirit showed me once again a valuable lesson as I ploughed through the work with calloused and bleeding fingers and palms.

With each tendril of vine that must be unwound to release its clutches from the fence, the Holy Spirit showed me a picture of how sin so easily ensnares us if we are not careful.

The vine removed, it was then time to tackle the root. There is no amount of pesticide, round-up or herbicide that will completely kill such parasitic flora, with the root still intact tiny shoots will soon emerge again to grasp and cling to what ever trellis it can find.

As it is with we mere mortals, a sin hidden, covered and unconfessed, be it by pride or shame, allows the enemy to ensnare us once again with tiny tentacles that slowly overtake us until it appears all hope is lost of being free.

When roots are mentioned in the Bible, it is usually in a context of good. We should be rooted in truth, in the Word, however if the root of evil is not dug up or conquered in our lives there is no place for the Word of God to take root. Just as a weed or clinging vine will do, sin not fully surrendered will slowly ensnare us and choke the very breath of life from our spiritual lives.

Once again, I am back in yet another yard. This time I battle oak seedlings. On any given day you will see me bent over the ground, slowly and deliberately pulling the tiny green shoots from the ground until the germinated acorn along with its quickly growing root is out of the ground and into a trash can. Obsessesing,  once again over the smallest of enemies. Trying to fighting tirelessly to remain ahead of the onslaught of  miniscule invaders which, left unattended, will quickly become a volunteer tree, deeply and firmly rooted into a harden ground, where plucking will no longer be the weapon of choice but more drastic tactics will be needed to rid my yard of their unwanted presence.

Again another lesson learned in the seemingly endless amounts of yardwork that comes with home ownership (Oh, how I wish Dublin had Condos that were affordable). We must remain on guard against sin in our lives. We cannot let the enemy get a foothold, we must arm ourselves for Holy battle and remain ever vigilant of the enemy’s tactics. I have heard it said many times in my life that “if the enemy is not fighting you then he has you”. This is so true.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it 1 Corinthians 10:12-13

We as the church must begin to teach spiritual warfare. The scriptures warn us that our enemy prowls like a lion, to and fro, seeking whom he may devour. I fully believe the time has come, we must know our enemy.

2 Timothy 3 (ASV)

3  But know this, that in the last days grievous times shall come. ² For men shall be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, haughty, railers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, ³ without natural affection, implacable, slanderers, without self-control, fierce, no lovers of good, ⁴ traitors, headstrong, puffed up, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God;⁵ holding a form of godliness, but having denied the power therefore. From these also turn away. ⁶ For of these are they that creep into houses, and take captive silly women laden with sins, led away by divers lusts,⁷ ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

In 1299, prior to the Mongolian invasion of Europe, the Mongolian officers would often send scouts and spies into the mountainous areas surrounding the training grounds and battlefields of the European armies. Tediously studying the strategies and tactics of the opposing armies, for month on end, leaders such as Batu and Sabutai would infiltrate the European principalities with map makers, they established trade routes. Men would surmise the loyalties of each principality and even change the landscape to ensure swift and expedient demise of the foe. 

We have an enemy that is real. His intent is deliberate, intentional and cunning. That seemingly innocent glance or conversation, the little white lie, the lust hidden deep in the heart. Each a tiny acorn waiting to become a mighty oak. Each a tiny tendril of a clinging vine slipping its tentacles silently and slowly around our hearts and minds until the day of we become ensnared in the full entanglement of sin. 

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. 5"I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. 6"If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned John 15:5-6.

But there is a hope. There is a vine whose name is Jesus. Just as a vingneron grafts vines together for optimal fruit, we are grafted into Christ. He is the vine, we are the branches and in his embrace sin no longer has a death hold on us. Sin holds no condemnation for the heart fully surrendered to Christ. We must remain in Him to bear good fruit. We must abide in Him, for we can do nothing alone and if we abide in Him, He promises to lead, lead guide and direct us on the path that is good and just and leads to everlasting life.

As for me,   I will be pulling oak seedlings from my yard while abide in Him and with each one, I will say prayers of protection for my children, for their hearts, minds and souls to fulfill their purposes in Christ. I will say prayers of protection for my heart, mind and soul, thanking him for another chance to not only do better but to be His watchman on the wall and prevent the enemy from gaining any more ground in my family. I will say prayers for those who have meant to do me harm; that their hearts, minds and souls will align with the will of the Father. I will claim the promises that God has given me and, as I dispose of every unwanted seedling, I will reclaim a little of what the enemy stole from me. 

Yep, that will be me, on the corner lot, hind end turned up, most likely tears in my eyes, thanking God for lessons learned even in the lowest of places.

Abide in Me  Edgar Aguilar

And if not, He is still good...

I am 47. Some would say this is just a number. Some would say it is old, some it is young. To me it is just a day among many. It is a place in time for 365 days of my life. There are days I feel 18 and there are days I feel 80. There are days this life that come easier than others. There are days I'd rather not walk out the door.

 Can I tell you? This life is not what I had planned. Nothing about it resembles the plans I made in my mind years ago. I saw myself in a life, but not this one. I saw myself in a house, but not this one. I saw myself in a family, but not this one. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids with every ounce of my being. Every breath I take is for them, but life has not turned out the way I thought it would.

Three years ago when this journey began, I prayed for, hoped for, begged and believed that there would be a different outcome. Things did not work out according to my plan but He was good. He put people in my path to be His hands and feet here and while they can never replace the one that was lost, there is a bitter sweetness in knowing that had one not left, others would not have come along.

Even a year ago I would have sworn, that I knew God's plan and was finally beginning to see it come to fruition. Once again, things did not turn out the way I thought it were supposed to go. A vision with a prophecy to match. A dream I dared to dream again. And for a moment in time, it made me brave. But sadly it appears, not meant to be.

And if not, He is still good.... Scrolling through Pinterest a few days ago, I saw this in a meme. Something about the phrase hit me between the eyes. It is no secret to those who know me best that the last few months have been more than chaotic and I have been well beyond needing this reminder.

The book of Job has been a place that I spent a lot of time in the last few years. Most of us are very familiar with this story. Job is a man of great righteousness and is regarded by God himself, in highest esteem. The favor of God sat upon Job. He was a wealthy man, well respected among his people. He had land and property, livestock and oil supplies. He was blessed with 10 sons and daughters. When God granted Satan permission to do anything he wished to Job, with the exception of killing him, the old serpent did what he does best, he began to destroy.

Within hours, servants from all throughout Job's land have come trembling in fear with the news that Job has lost everything. His homes, his wealth, his crops, his livestock and his children...all in the blink of an eye, gone. Satan has asked to test one of God's own and Job has been chosen.

Job's friends come to sit among the ashes with him, and yet even in their company, Job finds no solace and comfort. There are times that the company of others can only make us more restless.

Just as familiar as we are with the story of Job's woes, we are also well aware that in the end, everything he lost is replaced and more. Job is found faithful in the eyes of his Father. What the enemy meant for harm, God has used for good.

Joseph's own flesh and blood, put him into a pit and sold him into slavery. Little known to him at the time a plan was put into motion generations before. Instead of being left to die in the pit, he is sold to distant relatives. His captors are Ishmaelites, none other than descendants of the illegitimate son of his grandfather, Abraham.

Years he spent in servitude until one fateful day when the lies of one evil woman take him captive once again. Joseph's story could have ended here. He could have been killed for attempted rape, he could have died in the dungeons of Egypt beneath the city streets he would someday govern for its king. Yet sitting in his prison cell, it appears all has been lost, except Joseph's faith. What his brothers meant for harm, Yaweh redeemed and turned for his good and for the good of the entire nation of Israel.

Daniel is taken into captivity as a young man. In one act, every dream he must have dreamed for himself is taken from him. Forced into a foreign land, he is made a eunuch and placed into service for the king. Through years of service to a king not his own,  Daniel remained faithful to the God of his childhood. He has taught and trained his fellow Israelites and has instilled in them an obedience to Yaweh that has on more than one occasion placed him into harms way. It is this same faith that is within Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego when facing their own immortality that has given them the courage to say:

 "If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up."  Daniel 3:17-18   

It is with these thoughts that I sit tonight, in a town that I did not expect to be in any longer, in a house I did not expect to own, in a life as foreign to my dreams as the adopted lands of Joseph and Daniel.

Over the last few years there have been dreams I've dreamed, there are have been visions I have seen and there have been prophecies spoken over me. Some have come to pass and more have not...yet. All along this journey there have been pits to ensnare me, there have been prisons to prolong me and fiery furnaces to to attempt to take my life. Each and every one put into place by the enemy to bring me harm.

There are still days when the enemy plays with my mind, reminding me of all that I have lost. There are times when the bills need to be paid and one salary is not enough, or both kids still at home need to be in two different directions. Days when the grass needs cutting and all I have is a push mower and something else must be put aside to get it done. Moments when my work day has been less than desirable and there is no one to vent to. There are nights that it would be my hearts desire to have a shoulder to lay my head on and a hand to wipe away my tears.

And what good could has come from all this? Well, there have been lessons learned, people that have become a part of my circle that never would have and opportunities that I never would have had otherwise.

I do not know why God chooses to intervene at times and not at others. I do not know why illnesses are not healed this side of Heaven. I do not know why once Godly people choose to walk their own paths. I cannot fathom the whys, the wheres and the hows of this mortal existence.

I find it hardest to know that He is capable of all things and yet, he gives us free will instead of making us follow his plan. I understand that He wants us to choose to be obedient and to choose to be obedient out of love and not responsibility.  So I can say with Job, "though He slay me, yet I will serve him".

Then Job replied to the Lord:

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’

    Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. 

"You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’

My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. 

Job 42:1-6

For those who do no know my past, it is a story of service for my own benefit and not the benefit of His kingdom. It is the story of a woman who worked in His name but not for His sake. You see, I knew Him but now I have seen Him and though the enemy would do me harm, I will declare " I will not die, but live, and tell of the works of the Lord" Psalm118:17            

 I have seen His miracles. I have been a part of many. A child that was not supposed to be carried to term, one that was not supposed to be conceived and one that was not supposed to live. He has brought me back from the brink of death on at least three occasions. I have seen miracles and I have held them in my hands and like every child of the God I cling to the promise in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

And while it appears that I like so many before me have lost it all, what I have gained has by far outweighed the loss in the scope of eternity. A pharisee, a false prophet and a hypocrite has come to terms with the realization that, while in the eyes of man was I was a good person, I had missed the mark. What mattered most was not within me. For all my good deeds had been just that...deeds. 

It has only been through the deepest pain of my life that the greatest miracle has come. The miracle of a soul in complete surrender to the Lord, willing to be molded and shaped and used by Him for His Glory. I once was lost, but now I'm found.

In my new home there is a wall in my tiny living room. A wall that screams for something.... a wall that is seen every time the room is entered and when I'm lounging in my favorite chair, the one I bought on the day my life changed forever, it is the wall my gaze rests upon. And now I know what will grace this wall. I have asked a friend to make a large pallet sign for me. A sign that will act as a prayer, as a reminder and as a promise. What the enemy meant for my harm, God will turn for good....And if not...He is still good... and I will still serve Him

Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly): Sanctus Real