Take Him to the place

6/12/15I saw a post today on a ministerial blog I follow. The post said, and I am paraphrasing here, "don't only show them when you are on the mountain, they need to see that you too go through every day struggles". Well, you are either in luck or cursed. This has been a week of every day struggles. Maybe even several weeks strung together. Our group sings a song called Honestly, the chorus speaks of being so desperate for Jesus that you would even tear the roof off to get to him. This week I have tried my hand at roof tearing.  I have found it difficult to write, this is the third blog that I have started and just can't seem to finish the other two. Normally when I struggle with a topic the Holy Spirit will come in and take over, let's hope that is the case here today.

 Yesterday was hard for me. 

The days that my kids leave me always are. Children should not have to go back and forth between parents, they should not have to leave one to go to another. They should not have to choose whom they live with. This is not the way God intended, this is not His will or His plan. His plan is for both parents to raise the children together. Period. That is all I will say on this, just hear me, if you are contemplating divorce, DON'T DO IT! Momentary selfish acts leave lasting scars on those left wounded in the wake. They will not "get over it", they may learn to cope, but they never get over it.

Last night, sitting at a crossroads, the road to the right would have taken me back to my  house, where boxes and more packing awaited me in the silence of the absence of my children. Chores needing to be completed, laundry needing to be done and quite frankly, it would have been a good night just to go to bed early. This was not to be however.

From deep in the pit of my very being, something called to me to take Him to the place.

"Put Me in remembrance, let us argue our case together; State your cause, that you may be proved right." Isaiah 43:26

When my journey first began, I was listening to TBN one night. There on the stage was Amanda Crabb singing along with her husband Aaron, a song that would become a reminder for me in the years to come that sometimes we need to go back in order to go forward. This for me would become an anthem in the days to come.

In July 2014 I had the pleasure of telling Amanda in person how this song had spoken so much to me in the time that I was standing for my marriage. Attending a music conference while in Nashville job hunting and visiting my friend John, I approached her to tell her how much her testimony that night had meant to me and how much the song had ministered to me in the previous couple of years. Within moments, Aaron and Amanda, being the spirit filled leaders they are, had taken me into their fold and captured a place in my heart. When in Nashville, my kids and I attend their church, a place with a name that drew me like a healing balm and a moth to a flame, Restoring Hope.

As I felt the overwhelming sense of urgency last night to steer my car to the left, I knew that I was about to take God to the place where so much of my walk with him began. I took him to the tabernacle where on a November evening in 1995, I walked the aisle to come back to him in fullness and surrender. I took him to the place where in July of 1997 my husband and I knelt at an altar and prayed for a baby the doctors said would never come.

I took him to the place where in 2001 my husband and I sat on opposite ends of a fallen tree writing love letters to one another during a marriage retreat. To the place where he penned the words that he knew that all he had been through had brought him to me and that he would love me forever.

 I took him to a place where our quartet performed, where we sang in the choir for many years, where we laid many of life's concerns at an alter of grace and mercy. I took him to a place where my oldest son met the Lord many times and made life long friends. I took him to the place where my daughter first spent the night away from home and I took him to the place where my youngest attended his first church service during family camp in June of 2007, just days after being released from the Neonatal Intensive Care unit.

I took him back to the place where in July of 2012, I confessed before a multitude, the horrible sin that had been my portion in the demise of my marriage.  I took him back to the place where in October of 2012 He revealed to me the purpose for my journey and the calling set before me. I took God to the place where I lay my marriage at his feet the day before the final divorce hearing in July of 2013 and told God that I would obey him whatever that meant.

I settled on that grassy knoll where that fallen tree once lay and I took God to the place where all my hopes and dreams had begun and where they all were shattered. I took him to the place where I had found His sanctifying power and where I learned that sometimes despite what God wants, people make poor choices.

And call none your father upon earth; for one is your father, who is in heaven. Matthew  23:9

I considered my self to be a daddy's girl. When my father was home, I felt safe. In my father's arms I felt protected. Last night I needed a God big enough to control this universe but small enough to be my Father,  to come sit beside me and hold me while I cried once again for the broken dreams, torn memories, the sorrow and pain that have never fully left.

Tonight I needed a God big enough to be everywhere. I took God to a hospital room in Birmingham AL and one in Jacksonville FL and a home in Kite GA where impossible odds are being faced, where only He can intervene. I took Him to  places in Cochran GA  and Kite GA where hearts are heavy with the loss of precious loved ones. I took him to  places in Dublin GA where disobedience to him has altered the lives of many, forever leaving scars and changing the courses of the lives of the innocent. I took him to a cruise ship along the coast of Florida where a heavy heart needs the peace that only God can provide. I took him to a home in Old Hickory TN where three small orphans are learning to rebuild with their loving adoptive parents. I took him to a newly established home in Hermitage TN where newlyweds have just begun their journey. I took him to Dublin GA to homes where wives feel neglected and to East Dublin GA where a teenager makes decisions. I took him to Soperton GA where grandparents feel the sting of unfairness and to Las Vegas NV where a father feels the grief of having his only son torn from him. I took him to a place to cover a tender eight year old to protect him from the evil that would capture his soul. 

 I took God to a place in North Carolina where a couple follow God to restore their marriage and ministry in obedience to the Father. I took him to 1041 Center Pointe Road in Hendersonville, TN where a passionate couple walk in obedience to be a shining light in their community and began a church in a city where God called them and where the congregation is embracing the vision and lives are being restored. I took God to a place in Dublin GA where a pastor, with a heart for the people and a vision laid before him, desperately tries to drag a congregation out of tradition and into full surrender to the Holy Spirit's plan and purpose. Then to a church In Dublin GA where a pastor speaks truth to his congregation who share his vision and purpose and where many new souls are being brought into the kingdom. 

Psalms 91:14-16  14 "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known my name. 15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation." 

But last night I also needed a God small enough to see me among the vastness of the universe, just a tiny speck of human frailty, sitting on the ground waiting for Him to meet me in this place where He has met me so many times before. Last night I needed Him to come sit beside me and tell me His plan. I needed Him to take my hand and tell me that no matter where this journey ends, He will be with me. I needed Him to reassure me that as long as I remain in Him, He will honor my efforts. Last night I needed Him to whisper words of comfort in my ear and hold me as I cried once again for every broken dream, every hope deferred, every prayer that seemingly has gone unanswered. For every scar that just will not completely heal, and I took him to that place deep down in the recesses of my soul that still holds a small, fragile thread of hope. 

And then, I asked Him to go before me. To the place that I can not even fathom. I took Him to places that in my minds eye I can not even comprehend. I took Him to the next step before me that I cannot even see yet, but He alone knows. I asked Him to go into that place of provision that He has prepared and lead me there, where ever there is. I asked him to go into the hearts and minds of the people who will go with me and prepare them for the journey too. I asked Him to go into the hearts and minds of the ones that I leave behind and give myself and them the peace for me to make this journey. I asked him to go into the hearts and minds of the ones we will meet there and prepare them for this family rebuilding from brokenness, to provide mentors for my kids and me, to place us in extended families as a means of support. And I asked Him to meet us there, where ever this there is, to fulfill His purpose in us. 

For I know that often times He takes us to a place where we believe we are going to be ministered to, yet we become the one who ministers and if that is His purpose then I am willing to let Him take me to this place. 

“Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isa 53:4-5)

I know this is not the upbeat post that you are used to. I know this one has a very heavy tone and I think its okay for us to go there for a little while, to heal, to remember how far we have come and remember the promises, and to put God in remembrance of His promises to us. We just can not stay there. Where is your place today? Where do you need to take him back to? What area does He need to heal for you? I encourage you today to do the same. Take Him to your place and let Him meet you there.

To the place where dreams were shattered

And you felt you'd lost the race

Where the only thing that's left 

Is sorrow and pain

You wondered if you mattered

or did anyone see you at all

Take Him to the place

And watch dead things live again

Where one touch of His grace

And it's all washed away

He's calling out your name

Doesn't matter where you've been

Or whatever you have faced

Don't be afraid

To take Him to the place

There's a place where hope is given

Where you're free from sin and shame

Where He heals your broken heart

and speaks new life again

Where His love is ever drawing

to a place where you'll never be alone

Take Him to the place

And watch dead things live again

Where one touch of His grace

And it's all washed away

He's calling out your name

Doesn't matter where you've been

Or whatever you have faced

Don't be afraid

Let Him heal your heart

Give you a new start

You'll find life brand new

He will calm all fears

Wipe away your tears

Show you love so true

Just take Him to the place

And watch dead things live again

Where one touch of His grace

And it's all washed away

He's calling out your name

Doesn't matter where you've been

Or whatever you have faced

Don't be afraid

To take Him to the place

Just take Him to the place

---

Amanda and Aaron Crabb sing Take Him To the Place.

Overwhelmed...

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Ok friends, can I just make this a confession day? Can I just be real with you today? It has been really hard recently. Really hard. There are times spiritually when it is just hard. 

Close friends and relatives in mortal and spiritual battles, financial worries, hope deferred, my own health issues, more job concerns than I even want to think about,  more major life decisions and more court battles (not of my choosing) have left me wanting to, like Elijah, go into a cave and let the ravens feed me. 

And while there has been good intermingled, more frequently than not, most days I have had to remind myself to look for it. Let's just say, I have been overwhelmed.

It is an humbling thing to see your life reduced to boxes. In the best of circumstances it means a grand, new adventure is about to begin. Children grow up, move off to college or lives of their own; new jobs are taken in far away cities and there is excitement in the air. However, when the choice is not yours, and you are leaving the home where you thought you would wave good-bye to your grandchildren from the front porch swing and in which you envisioned many future celebrations and life events, the home where you though you would draw your last breath, it is a gut wrenching experience. 

That is where I was in November of 2013. Today, I sit among more boxes...I've sold my home. Between work, school, singing and speaking, I cannot keep up the inside and the outside of the home successfully and I have determined that time with my children is far more important than a yard. So here again, we sit among the boxes and pray that somehow God will turn this into a grand, new adventure. 

 Saturday was one of those days where I sat among the boxes and ashes and just asked God what He is up to. "What next?" Actually, it was more like, "God, you gave me a glorious vision of what you want, when are you going to bring it to pass?" The night ended with one final, pitiful but heartfelt prayer. "Father, could you just show me that you are still here?"

Sunday morning I awoke like any other, wanting to get to church but not wanting to leave my cocoon. I woke my daughter, then read my devotion, and noticed a message. My first reaction was to delete it without opening it because I did not know the sender. On social media, I try not to advertise my singleness too often as it seems to be a magnet for crazy people (don't get me started on that one). Let's just suffice it to say, there are far fewer single true Christians than one would hope.

The message was from a husband and wife ministry team who had stumbled across my page on a mutual friend's share. After feeling led to pray for me, they then felt led to offer to me some encouragement. A voice recording was sent of them praying for me and surely the Lord sent them. 

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth.He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. John 16:13

It seems that Kathy and Pete Rodriguez and I share very similar paths. Their stories entail many of the same spiritual and earthly battles along the way to fulfilling the ministry that God called them too and I will forever be grateful that Holy Spirit led them to pray for this little gal 499 miles away with one mutual Facebook friend. Overwhelmed...thank you God, I see you are still here.

I arise to begin my day, my water heater has finally caught back up after my daughter's shower (bless it). I have my TV on to Jentezen Franklin as I do every Sunday when I am home. Two fold blessing, he always has a great word for the church and its my time clock as  I get dressed for church. The message..."Go and Do Likewise"  In this sermon on the Good Samaritan Franklin touches on "the robber, religion and the redeemer" . First how the robber comes to destroy lives, relationships and dreams to distract us from the purpose God has called us to. The enemy's job is to kill, steal and destroy. This is what the enemy has tried to do in my life lately, to kill my dreams, to steal my joy and to destroy my destiny. 

He then addresses religion, oh my, this one could get me in all kinds of trouble. Franklin delved head long into so many things that I could expound on. Do yourself a favor, please take the time to look up the sermon and to listen to it. The only thing that I will personally state about this. In the body of Christ, if we call ourselves by the name of Christ and we see our brother hurting, if we see them in sin, if we see them slipping away, if we see them in need we are to get involved. Lives, families, hearts  and souls could be saved and restored if we just get involved.

Finally, as he addressed the redeemer, Franklin's words reminded me that God saw me in my fallen state and he waited for my return. When I was not thinking of Him, He was thinking of me and that in this season He is still thinking of me when I cannot see his hand, when I can not hear his voice, when I do not see His plan. He has much invested in me and I am IN CHRIST. If He did nothing else for me ever again, its not about what I can do for Him, its about what He can do through me....Overwhelmed...Thank you Jesus for taking my sin.

This was our first Sunday in Sunday School at our new church, but I was determined to get us back into a regular routine. (ok... as regular as you can have in my house, lol). I get my daughter settled into her new class and make my way to mine where one of my best friends is waiting for me. It is here the Father reminds me of my purpose, the purpose for us all. 

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Phiippians 3:12

Overwhelmed....Thank you Lord, you took hold of me for a purpose.

Today our regular worship leader was not there, we had a visiting pastor and his family leading us in worship today. He begins by telling how there was a Divine appointment in the choosing of the songs for the morning. 

Doesn't matter what I feel

Doesn't matter what I see

My hope will always be

Your promises to me

Now I'm casting out all fear

For Your love has set me free

My hope will always be

Your promises to me

Overwhelmed...Thank you Holy Spirit for reminding me that we walk by faith and not sight and that the Lord alone is my hope. And then...No one will ever be able to stand against me a Child of the most High King as we sing God of Angel Armies. 

Chris begins to preach on Joshua 1:5-9, and if you read my blogs you know that God has had me camped out in these verses for some time now. Three times in this passage He commands Joshua and us to "be strong and courageous". In Chris' message he points, 1) God uses ordinary people (yep...that's me...ordinary), 2) Defining moments determine our destiny (yes they do and God has presented me with so many in my life, some welcomed and some not, but each have brought me to this place) 3) when you need a miracle, you plant a see of faith ( ok Lord, I hear you. please tell me clearly what the next step is and I'll put my toes in the water) 4) In the darkest night, light shines the brightest (yes Lord, I will shine for you even when I can't see where we are going). Overwhelmed....Thank you God for reminding me that You go before and I do not have to be afraid.

After the service, I stop by the product table and very inadequately attempt to express my thanks to the visiting worship leader for his obedience to the Holy Spirit. We chit-chat a moment and he asks if I do something in ministry. I briefly give him a run down of where God has me right now. I tell him how the whole service spoke to me so much, as I seem to be at an impasse at present and have been praying for God to give me new, clear direction. He asks if he can pray for me and we do. Then he tells me that his sister has women's ministry, gives me his card, and takes mine with a purpose of networking in the body of Christ. Overwhelmed... I stopped to buy a t-shirt, feed a child and support No Hungry Child @ www.nohungrychild.org. but Lord you have supplied yet another Divine appointment.    

Home for a few hours to regroup and prepare for our sing tonight. Then off to sing with a great bunch of gals and guys. I am blessed in that I love my job (well, most of it) and I love what I get to do in ministry for the Savior. I am also blessed to be able to discern spirits and there was a battle going on in the atmosphere last night. The enemy wanted us silenced. I gave a little bit of testimony to introduce a the song Honestly by the Issacs. This song has come to mean so much to us all as a group, but for yesterday it held a little extra meaning. As soon as we began to sing the devil was in the details. Before the end of the night we swapped out all three mic chords and still had trouble with the sound (despite the best efforts of our soundman) but the enemy is a liar, the show went on, Jesus got the victory and God got the Glory!

 I will  ask you to be in prayer for the souls that still hang in the balance. One soul in particular sat there in the pew, tears streaming down a face with an expression I know all too well.  The expression of a soul struggling to completely surrender to the Savior. I don't know the name attached to that soul but I felt led to plead with that soul to surrender it all. I pray before that soul, lay their head on their pillow last night, that all was settled in Heaven and on Earth. Will you please pray with me for that one?

The pastor came to me after the service, he said "little lady, there is an anointing all over you. You can just see God's hand all over you and He has something big for you to do."  Overwhelmed...thank You Father for allowing me to be Your hands, feet and voice. 

I know that this has been another very long entry.  I apologize and I don't apologize. My Father showed my His  presence, His love and His mercy today. He reminded me of his promises to me and His purpose for me. He reminded me that He is orchestrating my life and His hand is on me.  To God be the Glory! 

This is for someone else today. He has you too. He has given you promises. He has rescued you from the deep, dark pit or the miry clay. Maybe you have not felt His presence lately, maybe it feels He does not hear your prayers. Maybe it feels He has forgotten you. 
My friend let me assure you He is there. Look for him in the smallest of places, the shortest of conversations, in the middle of your despair, in the fiery furnace with you, in silent sweetness of the morning hour. Let His love and grace and mercy, His goodness and His faithfulness overwhelm you today.

But may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus, the Messiah, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world! Galatians  6:14 

Who am I that He is mindful of me? I am overwhelmed...

My music today is from a sweet friend of mine. John Jeffrey is the piano player for the Bowling family. His talent is incredible and he works hard for the Kingdom of Christ. He will always hold a special place in my heart, I am blessed to know him.