I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom"
In Matthew, Luke and Mark's accounts the woman remains nameless, yet Jesus says that her name will be remembered through out the ages for this one simple act. Not for his glory but for her sacrifice. Each of these accounts refer to her as a woman with a sinful past, only in John's account, do we learn that this is Mary, sister to Martha and Lazarus.
So what was the cost of Mary's sacrifice?
Mary brought to Jesus her pride. The scripture says that when she entered the home of Simon the other guests "peered" at her. I do not know about you, but I understand the "peer" all too well. I have felt that same gaze on me more times than I want to recollect. The "peer" is hostile, judgmental, it makes you feel dirty even after you have been cleansed. It is a tool used by the enemy at the hand (most often, unfortunately) of those claiming righteousness. I've been guilty myself, a few times, of offering the "peer". It emanates disgust and contempt.
Mary knew the home she was entering into. Most likely there was some family connection, as Martha was there serving that day and Lazarus was one of the members in attendance. Theologians are not in agreement in Mary's description. Some even propose that this incidence is a flashback of such, to a time prior to Lazarus' death and resurrection. Either way, Mary knew her sin without having to be reminded, just as none of us really needs another to call out our sin. Even the soul in denial has some inkling left deep inside that speaks to what little good is slumbering to say "awaken, return to the way you know you should go".
She entered the home of a Pharisee, the people of this time, knew the religious leaders. The reputation of these men of the law was well known. Before taking her first steps through the doorway, Mary knew that ridicule, at the very least, awaited her. Her gratitude greater than her pride, she made her way to the one who had saved her from herself and the sin that had so long held her captive.
She understood the depths from which he had saved her and everything within in her compelled her to fall before his feet. Past the scoffers, the peering crowd, those who would have cast her out given the chance.
In the summer of 2012, the Holy Spirit compelled me to confess the sin that had been my downfall in the presence of 500 or so of my fellow church folk. Terrified, broken, humiliated, I confessed what I had done. My sins long since forgiven by the Savior, yet, the Spirit moved me to do this painful act. Confused, yet obedient, I lay in tears all night asking the Father, "why would you have me do this?" the answer at the time was "so that your husband could see the sacrifice made for him" yet now, I also see that this had to happen to take down that last little piece of the wall of pride in my life. The walk of shame as it were. Now, some would say that a loving God would not require such or that a loving God would not cause pain on purpose. I beg to differ, you see, my Father knew I would have to hit the very bottom of myself, that I would have to be stripped of all areas of pride, that I would have to remember this confession, in order to be used in His kingdom as He wanted to use me. I had no choice other than to put my pride to the side, walk past the "peering" of those who claimed to love me most, and be obedient to the one who would reclaim my sin for His glory.
Mary brought to Jesus her past. I love this character of Mary, probably more so than most of the biblical characters. You see, more than anyone else who came in contact with Jesus on a regular basis, I believe Mary got it. She, even before the disciples, understood who He was and what He not only meant for her but for the world. These poor 12 disciples are so much like church folk today. God bless their hearts, they were good guys. Plain and simple men, men from good homes, men from uneventful pasts. Not one "real" sinner among them. You know what I'm talking about! It is so easy for those raised in church to take for granted the saving power of Christ.
Let's face it, we humans weigh sin. We like to give it degrees, measurements and a rating scale. In the Inferno, Dante describes his version of what he believes Hell to be. Nine circles, each circle representing a level of sin higher than the rest. We mere mortals like this, it makes us feel better to compare our sin to those of others around us. While there is no particular scripture to dispute this, and while there are divisions of sin and abominations in the scripture, the fact still remains that one price and one price alone makes the atonement for all sin: the blood of the Lamb of God. Therefore we are to assume that no sin outweighs another.
You see these men, these church folk, who are to be commended for their keeping of the laws, had no idea and no way to measure the depths of the restitution to be made for their souls in just eleven short days. Mary, having tasted just a small portion on Earth, knew the Hell that had awaited her prior to her touch from the Savior. She knew exactly what she had been saved from.
Mary lay it all at his feet that day. I can tell you from personal experience, though the Lord had forgiven her sins, probably many months before this day, Mary still carried the guilt and shame with her. It is incomprehensible for the soul entrenched in sin to fathom how one act of repentance can wipe the slate clean. Here again our human nature takes charge and the condemnation of the enemy and our fellow man is carried with us like an internal scarlet letter. We project the actions of humans onto the character of the Father. The rejection and judgment of man must surely be a reflection of the Father's heart.
So forgiven of her sins, I believe it was on this day that Mary reconciled in her own heart and mind the provision made for her in this Savior and finally forgave herself.
Don't forget to check back for part 3 of What Is the Cost of Your Oil?
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